Music During Sefirah and the Three Weeks: Planning a Simcha

Music during Sefirah and the Three Weeks depends on your community's custom and on your rav. Many families hold no weddings and avoid instrumental music for part of the Omer and through the Three Weeks, and some, where their rav agrees, celebrate a simcha in those weeks with vocal-only, a cappella music. The first step is always the same: ask your rav before you book.

Key Takeaways

• Sefirah is the 49-day count from the second day of Pesach to Shavuot; communities keep part of it as a time of mourning, and which part depends on the custom.
• The Three Weeks run from the 17th of Tammuz to Tisha B'Av; the last nine days are the most restricted.
• Whether vocal-only or a cappella music is fine is a real disagreement between rabbis, so the family's rav decides — not the DJ.
• Check your date with your rav before you sign with a hall, then tell your music team exactly what was said.
• A simcha in these weeks can still feel joyful: the songs, the volume and the timing are simply planned to the family's guidance.

What are Sefirah and the Three Weeks?

Sefirat HaOmer, usually just called Sefirah, is the counting of the 49 days from the second day of Pesach until Shavuot. Part of this period is kept as a time of mourning. The reason most often given is the death of Rabbi Akiva's students, and some connect it to later tragedies as well. During the mourning days many communities don't hold weddings, don't cut hair, and avoid instrumental music and dancing. Many still hold engagements in these weeks; your rav decides what fits your family.

The Three Weeks run from the fast of the 17th of Tammuz to Tisha B'Av, the day that mourns the destruction of both Temples in Jerusalem. The final stretch, from Rosh Chodesh Av to Tisha B'Av, is called the Nine Days and is the most restricted part. In Hebrew the period is called bein hametzarim.

For a family planning a wedding, a Bar or Bat Mitzvah, a vort or a sheva brachot, both periods raise the same practical questions: can the simcha be held on our date, and if it can, what kind of music fits? Those are questions for your rav. What follows is an overview of the customs, so you know what to ask and why your friends' answers may differ from yours.

Which days of Sefirah does each community keep?

Thirty-three of the 49 days are generally kept as mourning days, but communities count different stretches. Here is the overall picture as it is usually described, and it is only a starting point for the conversation with your rav:

• The "first part", common among Ashkenazim: from Pesach until Lag BaOmer, the 33rd day. Many still avoid weddings and big celebrations after Lag BaOmer until Rosh Chodesh Sivan, while some hold weddings from Lag BaOmer on.
• The "second part", kept by German communities and others: from Rosh Chodesh Iyar until around the 3rd of Sivan. The days right after Pesach are open in principle, though few couples marry then in practice.
• Most Sephardic communities: until the morning of the 34th day. Many have music and dancing on Lag BaOmer itself, and weddings and haircuts usually wait until the 34th.
• Chabad: from Pesach until three days before Shavuot, with Lag BaOmer as the exception.

One detail surprises many couples: according to a common wedding-date guide, the days from the 2nd to the 16th of Iyar are not used for weddings under any of these customs. If your date falls anywhere in the Omer, settle it with your rav first and only then call the hall, the caterer and us.

What changes on Lag BaOmer?

Lag BaOmer, the 33rd day of the Omer, is a day of celebration in the middle of the mourning period. Many communities set the mourning practices aside for the day, with music, dancing, weddings and haircuts; what that means for your family, and from which hour, is for your rav to say. Whether a wedding may be held on the night of Lag BaOmer is debated, and many couples wait until the daytime or the following days.

It is also the day of the upsherin, or chalakah as Sephardic families call it: many boys whose third birthday fell during the Omer have their first haircut on Lag BaOmer. Music isn't a fixed part of an upsherin, but a family that wants songs for the party usually reaches for the joyful Lag BaOmer songs. If you are planning one, our page on Orthodox Jewish music for events in Los Angeles covers the smaller celebrations like this one, and the simcha music that suits each.

What happens during the Three Weeks and the Nine Days?

Ashkenazi communities don't hold weddings at any point in the Three Weeks. Sephardic practice differs: many refrain for the whole period, while others hold weddings until Rosh Chodesh Av. No community holds weddings during the Nine Days. Some rabbis permit a wedding on the night before the 17th of Tammuz, and others hold that the mourning begins that night, so even a date at the edge of the period is worth checking.

Live and recorded music are generally avoided in these weeks. Some rabbis sort music by mood, avoiding joyful songs from the 17th of Tammuz and ordinary songs from Rosh Chodesh Av, while permitting sad songs about Jerusalem. Many communities hold engagements in these weeks without music or dancing; your rav decides.

Two simchas come up again and again in these weeks:

• Sheva brachot. When a wedding is shortly before the Three Weeks, some of the week of festive meals may fall inside them. These meals are usually held without music or dancing, and rabbis differ on the details — so sheva brachot music that week is whatever your rav allows, which is often only the singing around the table.
• A siyum. Finishing a tractate makes the meal a seudat mitzvah, and many communities hold a siyum during the Nine Days. Many communities sing at a siyum in these weeks; whether live instruments fit is a question of custom, and your rav decides.

Is a cappella music allowed during Sefirah and the Three Weeks?

This is the question families ask most, and the honest answer is that rabbis disagree. Some permit recordings of plain voices during Sefirah and the Three Weeks; others don't. Even among those who are lenient, vocals that are processed to sound like instruments — a voice turned into a bass line or a drum beat — are generally treated like instrumental music.

You will notice that every Omer season brings a new wave of vocal albums in the Jewish music world, and many of them sound very full. That is exactly why it helps to ask your rav about the kind of music, not only about music in general. Ask whether plain a cappella is fine, whether heavily produced vocal tracks count as instruments, and whether live singing at the meal is different from recordings.

Whatever the answer, our part is to follow it. When a family tells us their rav allows a vocal-only program, we build it to the same standards as the rest of their music — Jewish music only, male vocals only if that is their practice — and keep the volume right for a room where people also want to talk.

Planning a simcha that falls in these weeks

If your date is close to, or inside, Sefirah or the Three Weeks, a few steps make the planning calm instead of stressful:

1. Ask your rav before you book. Do it before you reserve the hall, the caterer or the music. Bring the exact Hebrew date and the type of event. A Bar Mitzvah on the boy's actual birthday, a sheva brachot, a siyum and an engagement party may each get a different answer.
2. Write the answer down. Is the event allowed, is music allowed, and if so what kind: none, singing only, vocal-only recordings, or instruments? A single line in writing saves misunderstandings later.
3. Tell your music team on the first call. We plan the program from your rav's guidance, not from what another family did last year.
4. Plan the high points around the music you have. A siyum or a sheva brachot without instruments can still have a strong moment: the divrei Torah, the singing at the table, the blessings. If your rav allows live singing, a live Israeli singer can lead the songs at the table. Sound for speeches matters more than ever.
5. Remember the other edge of the calendar. A Motzei Shabbat event after Lag BaOmer, or a wedding just after Tisha B'Av, starts after nightfall, and the time changes every week. We check it for your date.

For weddings that fall just outside these periods, the music plan is the full one: the chuppah, the first dance set and separate dancing on both sides of the mechitza. Our guide to how music works with separate dancing at an Orthodox wedding walks through it, and our list of Orthodox Jewish wedding songs from the chuppah to the mitzvah tanz covers the songs.

How we plan music around the Jewish calendar

On Air Productions LA is a DJ and entertainment company in Encino, and we plan the music for Orthodox weddings, Bar and Bat Mitzvahs and smaller simchas with each family. Founded in 2005 by Israeli-born DJ Gilad Emesh, a DJ and an MC in Hebrew and English, the company builds every program from the family's standards: Jewish music only, male vocals only, vocal-only programs for Sefirah and the Three Weeks when a rav allows them, and timing around Shabbat and Yom Tov.

Every simcha has its own owner page with the details: an Orthodox Jewish DJ in Los Angeles for the overview, Orthodox Jewish wedding music for the big day, Orthodox Bar and Bat Mitzvah music for b'nei mitzvah, and a religious Israeli wedding for dati couples.

Frequently Asked Questions

Can you listen to music during the Three Weeks?

Many families avoid live and recorded music during the Three Weeks, especially joyful music, and customs differ on the details and on the Nine Days. Ask your rav what applies to you; for an event in those weeks, we plan only the music your rav allows.

Can we have a wedding during Sefirah?

It depends on your community's custom. Communities keep different parts of the Omer, the days from the 2nd to the 16th of Iyar are generally not used for weddings, and Lag BaOmer is treated differently. Set the date with your rav first, then book the hall and the music.

Is a cappella music allowed during Sefirah?

Rabbis disagree. Some allow plain vocal recordings during Sefirah, others don't, and vocals processed to sound like instruments are generally treated as instrumental music. Ask your rav about the specific kind of music, and we will build the program to that answer.

Can a Bar Mitzvah during Sefirah have a DJ?

A Bar Mitzvah celebrated on the actual date is a seudat mitzvah, and some rabbis treat it more leniently than an optional party, while others don't. Your rav decides; if music is allowed, we plan exactly the kind he allows, and if not, we can still provide sound for the speeches and the divrei Torah.

Talk to us about your date

Planning a simcha near Sefirah or the Three Weeks? Tell us your date and your rav's guidance, and we will plan the music around them — contact us for a personalized quote.