Orthodox Bar & Bat Mitzvah DJ in Los Angeles

An Orthodox Bar Mitzvah is a boy taking on the mitzvot (the commandments), and most of what matters happens before any DJ arrives. He's called up for an aliyah at the shul's regular Torah reading, on Shabbat or a Monday or Thursday morning, and some boys read the portion or the haftarah (the reading from the Prophets). From then on he puts on tefillin, the leather boxes and straps worn at weekday morning prayers; Chabad boys usually start about two months early, at first without the blessing.

Then comes the seudat mitzvah, the festive meal held in honor of a mitzvah, with divrei Torah (short words of Torah), blessings for the boy and his drasha. In many families his friends break into song partway through, the way they do for a chassan (a groom). We agree with you beforehand whether the DJ joins in or leaves it to the voices in the room.

Parents often ask about the rules for an Orthodox Bar Mitzvah. Customs vary from one community to the next, and the questions that matter, like the date, the music and the seating, belong to your family and your rav (your family's rabbi). You bring us the answers; we plan inside them.

After the seudah, or on another night, comes the party, in the format you choose. Many Orthodox families seat men and women apart, often with a mechitza (the partition between the men's and women's sides), and dance in separate circles: the men and boys around the Bar Mitzvah boy, with his father, grandfathers and rebbeim (his teachers) pulled into the middle, and the women around his mother.

The hora, the fast circle dance, is the moment everyone waits for. The circles start at a steady pace, speed up song by song, and often peak with the boy lifted high on a chair. Siman Tov U'Mazal Tov is a favorite here, and the boys' own requests come right after it. We set speakers so both sides hear the same music clearly, with the DJ booth at a spot agreed with you and the hall.

Modern Orthodox families draw these lines in different places; some seat everyone together and still dance separately. Tell us what your family keeps, and the floor plan follows it.

Do Orthodox girls have a Bat Mitzvah? Many Orthodox families celebrate one, usually when she turns twelve, in a shape that varies a great deal. Some hold a seudah where she gives a dvar Torah, a short Torah talk she has prepared, and that talk often becomes the heart of the day. Some host a women-only party, so the girls and women can sing and dance freely. In other families it's a Sunday lunch near her birthday or a breakfast with her class; in Chabad, a girl often learns a teaching of the Lubavitcher Rebbe and presents it.

Each of those needs different music. A seudah calls for gentle music under the meal and good microphones when she speaks. A women-only evening wants a real dance floor and the Jewish and Israeli songs the girls know by heart. A class breakfast needs sound that's quick to set up and quicker to pack away.

Before we pick a song, we ask about your standards. Jewish music only, or some Israeli and English songs later in the evening? Should every song have male vocals, because your family keeps kol isha (the custom that men don't listen to a woman's singing voice)? How loud should it be, so the grandparents can still talk at their tables? You decide, and the plan you approve in writing is what gets played.

A frum Bar Mitzvah (frum is Yiddish for religiously observant) usually dances to Chassidic and yeshivish dance songs, the music of the yeshiva world, plus today's Jewish pop. Chabad families often ask for Chabad niggunim (melodies); Sephardic and Persian families, for Mizrahi (Middle Eastern Jewish) rhythms. Israeli dati families (dati is Hebrew for religious) want the Israeli religious songs they grew up with. Carlebach melodies are there for families who ask.

When the aliyah is on a Shabbat morning, Shabbat itself stays quiet, with no DJ and no sound system, and the party moves to Motzei Shabbat, after Havdalah (the short ceremony that ends Shabbat), or to Sunday. Shabbat ends at a different time every week, and some communities wait longer than others, so we work out your start time from your date and your custom. If your family wants nothing set up before Shabbat is over, we schedule the load-in for after it ends.

A boy becomes Bar Mitzvah on his thirteenth Hebrew birthday, so the date can land in Sefirah, the weeks between Pesach and Shavuot, or in the Three Weeks before the fast of Tisha B'Av, when many families limit music. Which days count and what is allowed differ by community; that's for your rav. When a family asks for vocal-only music, we plan an a cappella program (songs sung with no instruments) to the same standards as the rest of the night.

Candle lighting, where relatives and friends come up a group at a time to light a candle, is common at many Bar and Bat Mitzvahs, but not every Orthodox family does it. If you'd like one, we plan the order, the introductions and a song for each group; if not, the time goes to dancing.

An MC holds the evening together, bringing the boy or girl in, calling the rabbi and the grandparents to the microphone and announcing the honors, in English, Hebrew or both. Live music can join the DJ: a live drummer or a darbuka player (the Middle Eastern hand drum) over the dance sets, or Ofek Ben Harush, a male Israeli vocalist on our roster, singing Hebrew songs live. An LED wall can carry the name, a monogram or a photo montage.

Games or activities for the kids can be kept separate for boys and girls on request. Bring up who should run each side on the planning call.